Friday, 30 August 2013

Erin's little brother

It has been almost a year since I last wrote a blog post - in that year I have experienced some great changes in my life, although one important thing remains unchanged.

Erin's little brother was born earlier this year. He looks so much like his brave big sister and has brought light and laughter back into our lives. However, the grief remains. I feel Erin's absence so strongly every day. It is often the times that should be the most happy, such as family birthdays, that bring with them so much pain. I imagine what Erin would be like - what would she be wearing, what would she be doing, what would she look like now? It is the most tender of moments that I share with my son - feeding him at night, cuddling him tenderly, blowing kisses to make him giggle - that cause my tears to fall. These special moments that I love and cherish remind me of all that Erin missed out on. Sometimes I worry that maybe she is watching and it pains me to think that she may feel sad. I love my son, I would not change him for the world, but I miss my daughter with an intensity that physically hurts.

Erin is my first born - my brave and beautiful girl who will forever be a part of our family. Her photographs are all over our home, we talk about her frequently and we visit her resting place with flowers every week. Similarly, our intentions to continue raising money for charity in her memory remain, although we have taken a break from this recently as we have been getting to know our gorgeous boy. In the year following Erin's death, with the help of our fantastic family and friends, we managed to raise over £16,000 for some wonderful charities though. The approximate figures are:

Ronald McDonald House at Alder Hey - £6,700
Alder Hey Childrens Hospital - £6,000
The Turner Syndrome Support Society - £3,000
Aching Arms - £1,500

We are so grateful for all the help and support we have received and are beginning to think about our next fundraising ventures. We would really appreciate your continued support.

“Without you in my arms, I feel an emptiness in my soul. I find myself searching the crowds for your face - I know it's an impossibility, but I cannot help myself.”
―    Nicholas Sparks, Message in a Bottle


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